I’m tired of feeling tired.

I’m tired of crying at EVERYDAMNTHING.

Actually I’m tired of stopping myself from crying at everydamnthing when I’m around people. I’m tired of crying when I’m alone.

Im tired of having chapped eye lids.

Im tired of peopling

It has been 207 days since we found out about my dads Cancer. I’ve officially been a bitter, hate filled mess of sad for 207 days.

I hate the sound of someone clearing their throat.

I hate the sound of spitting – because cancer has taken away their ability to swallow anything, even their own saliva.

I hate that I know the names of a good portion of the nurses, nurses aides, personal care aides on the palliative care floor of the Tom Baker Cancer Centre/ Foothills Hospital.

I hate that I know how to start a tube feed.

I hate feeling sad.

I hate crying every single fucking day.

And I hate that this is pretty much my only place to vent.

I haven’t been able to get out to take pictures as much as I’d like, so to get into the groove I decided to do a challenge I’ve seen on a blog.

For every 100 steps taken you take a photo. I’ve tried to not delete too many of the pictures but OMG. LOL Badness!

So why is it that the exposure reading on my camera reads as properly exposed but when the pictures get onto the computer there are so many that are either over or under exposed??? It’s an ongoing battle with my camera and at this point the camera is winning. (**edit** the blog is winning also. There are some duplicate pictures in the gallery and I’m not sure how to delete just a few. *sigh*)

31 books … bringing my total for the year to 406!

Bone Cold by Erica Spindler (new purchase)
Hot as Sin by Bella Andre (library)
Married With Zombies by Jesse Petersen (TBR mountain – NOT a romance)
Black Wings by Christina Henry (new purchase, new to me author, LOVED it!)
Unbelievable by Lori Foster (2 book anthology, library)
Winning the Right Brother by Abigail Strom (library, new to me author)
Fire Dancer by Colleen Coble (TBR mountain)
Seasons of Pleasure: Summer and Autumn by Anya Bast (TBR mountain)
Highborn by Yvonne Navarro (new purchase, new to me author, LOVED IT)
The Decoy Princess by Dawn Cook *aka Kim Harrison (new purchase)
Playing with Fire by Gena Showalter (TBR mountain)
Inside Out by Lauren Dane (new purchase)
Bonds of Justice by Nalini Singh (library)
Lie With Me by Stephanie Tyler (library)
Intent to Seduce by Carla Summers/A Glimpse of Fire by Debbi Rawlins (new purchase, anthology, another mistake IMO)
Coulters’ Wife by Maya Banks (free kindle e-book)
Society Bride by Elizabeth Bevarly (TBR mountain)
Tempted by PC Cast & Kristin Cast (TBR mountain)
Lonestar Sanctuary by Colleen Coble (free kindle e-book)
Ride the Fire by Jo Davis (new purchase)
Not That Kind of Girl by Susan Donovan (new purchase)
Heart of Gold by Tami Hoag (library)
Naked by Megan Hart (keeper shelf, re-read)
With This Ring: A Tabloid Star Story by TA Chase (free kindle e-book)
Make Mine Midnight by Annmarie McKenna (free kindle e-book)
Love Me by Kelly Jamieson (e-book, not sure where I got it? Free somewhere because I haven’t bought one for a long time)
The Outlaw by Jan Hudson (library, e-book)
Played by Barbara Freethy (TBR mountain)
Poison Kissed by Erica Hayes (new to me author, took for freaking ever to read! Not sure why)
The M.D. Next Door by Gina Wilkins (new purchase)
Triple Exposure by Colleen Thompson (free kindle e-book)